By Johnny Moon
Men and women have often debated the difference between "having sex" as opposed to "making love." You may have heard the rapper 50 Cent lyrically expressing this issue in his popular song In Da Club: "I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love." Most people believe that the two situations are distinctly different.
Having Sex
First of all, the term "having sex" normally refers to the physical aspect of sexual intercourse. Sex is often used as a means of physical release and gratification of pleasure. Therefore, people who have sex do not necessarily have strong feelings for each other or are involved in an intimate relationship.
Although the two aren't mutually exclusive of each other, they often don't involve the same level of intimacy as "making love." For example, it is completely possible for two complete strangers to "have sex" because the primary focus remains on satisfying an individual's physical needs.
Passion and excitement are common elements when two people "have sex." They often adopt a more selfish approach to this activity. They may be more interested in having their own sexual needs satisfied. Men often refer to this type of activity as "having sex" because they are traditionally more focused on the physical aspect. The goal of "having sex" is normally for one or both participants to achieve climax.
Making Love
Just as the term implies, "making love" usually describes the intimate aspect of sexual intercourse. This refers to the emotional release that is often achieved by engaging in sex with a trusted partner. Therefore, the term implies that the participants have already established a mutual intimate relationship with each other.
Most people feel that it isn't possible to "make love" to a complete stranger. They believe that strangers have not had enough time to develop a genuine intimate relationship, other than purely a physical one. Of course, there are always exceptions to this rule, but generally the term is reserved for more intimate relationships.
Women are also more apt to refer to sexual activity as "making love" because they are traditionally more emotional than the majority of men. However, members of both sexes usually refer to "making love" when they want to show their partner how much they appreciate and respect them. This term denotes a less selfish aspect than "having sex." Partners who "make love" generally want to please their partner's needs. They may place more importance on achieving this goal, rather than satisfying their own needs.
The term "having sex" describes the more physical and selfish, albeit exciting aspect of love. On the other hand, "making love" denotes the more emotional and unselfish aspects of sexual activity. However, you need to remember that men and women who are complete strangers can "make love" sometimes if they are in that place emotionally and that other times a couple who has been married for 40 years can enjoy "having sex" together!
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