By Melanie Allums
With Valentine's Day just around the corner, many couples will soon be pondering, "What can I do to make my sweetheart feel extra special this Valentine's Day?" Why is it we put extra effort into just one day a year to celebrate our love with our significant other? Sadly, in today's society with busy schedules and life on-the-go, many couples gear up for this one big day, and neglect to celebrate their love continuously throughout the year.
One particular gift that will keep giving all year long is discovering each others "love language". Gary Chapman's book "The Five Love Languages" has helped tens of thousands of couples understand each others primary love language and the life changing transformations that take place when our "love tanks" are full. It brings couples to a whole new level of connection and intimacy when we are actually fulfilling each others deepest needs and desires. Many couples are surprised to find out what they 'think' their partner wants isn't really the case at all, as we tend to give our partner what we ourselves want.
Does the mention of "Date nights" and "Quality time" return a puzzled look? Why not start fresh this year with another gift, your time. Franklin Covey's theory states that if you have big rocks, small rocks and sand, and wish to fill up a jar with no overflow, the big rocks must be put in first, then the small rocks, then the sand. If you were to go out of order and put the sand and small rocks in first, then the big rocks would never fit. So it goes, with our daily lives and planning. The sand (menial tasks) and small rocks (small, non essentials) can be great time-robbers and leave no time for the big rocks (essentials/ relationships) unless the big rocks are planned for first.
This year resolve to plan for at least one day, afternoon or evening alone together each month. A mini Valentine's Day together so to speak. This doesn't require much expense, just a little creative planning. If children make it harder to plan time alone, then plan a 'date-in' after they go to bed! (Try a romantic Game-for-Two such as "An Enchanting Evening" or "Simply Romantic Nights". For more engaging conversations try "The Ungame for Couples", which can be played anywhere, including while dining in (or out) and even while driving!
By Understanding each others love language, making your relationship a 'Big' rock and scheduling time alone together, you'll be well on your way to connecting on a whole new level this year.
About the Author: Melanie Allums is the founder of http://www.Couples4Life.com an online resource for couples to encourage communication, connection and intimacy. The games and book mentioned above can be found there along with many other products for enriching relationships.
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