By Jeff Goodwin
Every single couple live together or get married expecting to stay in love and be blissfully thrilled to be together for ever.
That the theory but then real life kicks in. You start to forget how special that person is to you or even get lazy. Shortly the relationship that was once so central in your life has drifted or even fell apart.
Let me tell you about a couple i know
Linda worked, but she usually worked opposite shifts to Eric, this way they did not need a baby-sitter. They did not have much money, so they wished to raise their own kids as best as they could.
After some years the routine became, well, routine. Nobody actually queried it anymore. They did not have weekends together. One or the other was always working.
Eric and Linda just stopped doing things as a couple. They did things with other couples, or with extended family, but they don't often did things just the 2 of them.
So it was hardly surprising when Linda found greener pastures some place else ( which, looking back, failed to turn out so green ). It never is so green is it? Its more like a purple patch.
If you don't want to turn out like Eric and Linda, these are some methods to get your relationship back on track :
1. Remember The Love You Have With One Another Comes First
The marriage and love should always comes first, not the young kids. Eric and Linda were so targeted on looking after the children themselves and staying away from baby-sitters that they ended up not having a relationship themselves. It is very dangerous to work for years on end on opposite shifts. Infrequently it may be necessary, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say something I would pretty rarely say. I think it is better to get baby-sitting one or twice a month and work at the same time.
I am not in favour of baby-sitting or childcare, but there is a need, when it comes to saving your marriage.
2. Money isn't the be all and end all. Linda worked largely for luxuries, a bigger house, more DVDs and electronics for the kids, toys, etc . Live in a smaller house with fewer things but make your own fun with your husband.
3. Carve Out Time for Each Other
My opinion is that this could be a challenge. In couple counselling, I have frequently spoken to women who say,'the only time we have is in the evenings after the children go to bed, and then he just wants to veg in front of the TV'. This a problem, but you've got to remind yourselves why you're together in the 1st place. "Why did we get married"?
So what are some cheap date ideas?
1. Feed the children a quick dinner, put them in front of a picture, and then put them to bed early. You eat dinner with your hubby later, by candlelight.
2. Go for walks after dinner so you can talk with your husband while the kids play in the park.
3. If you live near waterfront, take a drive down there with the family. While the children skip stones, you can sit together with him or go to teh cinema, there is some great films out these days.
Have a date at home without the kids!
If the children are at college, meet up for lunch. Occasionally that is's simpler than dinner!
It doesn't matter how you do it ; just do it. Don't let your marrige drift apart. Pay attention to one another first, and then you will find that in some decades you still love being together!
For simple effective advice go and see a marriage counsellor to see how to save a relationship.
Jeff Goodwin is a relationship counsellor who has helped many adults and children too relate better using various counselling skills. If you want to learn how to save a relationship try by clicking here first for advice. How To Save A Relationship | Stopping Relationships Falling Apart
Source:www.isnare.com |
