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| The Answer to All Your Dating Problems - Coffee Date | August 25, 2009, 12:28 pm | visits: 32 | wordcount: 618
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By Felicity Lightbody
Dating is a serious sport it takes hours of research and filtering profiles to try and actually connect with another human being and then you have to spend a while conversing via messages and emails, then even text's and maybe a phone call before you take the final plunge and actually meet up with each other to find he's 4 inches shorter than you and covered in weird tattoos and she's into astrology and making her own clothes!
The fact of the matter is you make the decision every time you meet someone new within the first 30 seconds whether you would actually have a sexual encounter with them and in reality this initial attraction of chemistry is what holds a couple together and creates real love. So the hours you have already spent flirting and getting to know that person via the internet could have been a bit of a waste of time. You may well have a lovely friendship but if you're serious about finding someone special the impersonal nature of internet dating can work against you. But not if you're smart!
If you have found someone you like via a personals website and know they aren't living or working too far away from you then just tell them this is where I usually have lunch or get coffee on my lunch break but I could meet you half way between our places of work and grab some lunch?
Ok, it may scare a few people off but really meeting up is the only real way of knowing if you have potentially found what you're looking for in someone. Men it seems are much more open to this suggestion but ladies tend to be nervous. I've sent him a nude picture but actually meeting him, oh I don't know! This is why maybe asking a man out on a lunch date where there is less pressure to dress up and perform is a good idea, because although it is a date, it will be more comfortable and the pressure won't be there of where is it going to lead, your office or mine?
Yes being safe is important and maybe taking your lunch friend from work too will make you feel more secure but grabbing that coffee together could be the start of something real.
If you do make a quick lunch date it has plenty of benefits, you can see if the chemistry is there when you're together physically but it's a coffee shop so there's no pressure in terms of doing anything sexual or whether to kiss because you are just eating and chatting and then both have to go back to work.
This is also good because there's no awkwardness after if you didn't feel anything for your date, you can simply tell them later on on-line, just say the classic I think we should just be friends. This way you are not stuck somewhere in a restaurant or nightclub wondering how you can escape from the worst date you have ever experienced who keeps trying to tongue you.
If you are lucky enough to have a lunch date that you have those special feelings for you can always meet up again on a quick lunch date or just go straight to a restaurant or club date or even a round to mine for a meal date. If you're very lucky it could be later the same day!
Meeting someone in a more normal less pressured environment when a date doesn't feel like a real date will probably help you see if there is a special connection with someone because where you go and what you do never really matter when you're in love but the initial how you meet does.
Felicity is a intermittent author, writing infrequent articles in the UK about dating in london. The London dating website also specialise in helping singles meet through speed dating and other fun activities with like minded people in their city.
Source:www.isnare.com | |
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