By Aaron Adams
Seeing the boyfriend slowly drift away the moment you confessed your feelings is frustrating. I thought they said that the truth will set you free? How come he virtually ceased to exist when you told him the truth?
Men see honesty in women as admirable. There are men who are even attracted to women who are vocal and honest about certain things. The bad news is, when you tell him how you want to go deeper in your relationship in one go, then you can almost expect him to scram, never to be seen again.
The wonderful and marrying types of guy almost certainly had their share of dating the odd and clingy women – the kind of woman who glue themselves to their man and will never let go ever again. So the moment the guy got away you can be sure that he learned his lesson and will never get into a relationship with a woman of the same kind.
In the man's vocabulary, clingy means needy. And it is these kinds of women who tend to rush into the relationship. Granted that you are neither clingy nor needy, but by pushing too hard and too fast it will make red flags go up and sound the alarm that there is a clingy woman in the vicinity.
But to balance things off, it is also not ideal for you to not say anything and pretend that nothing is wrong. The secret is striking the balance on how much to share and what to say. If you do not say anything about yourself and will not tell him how you truly feel, then he may perceive you as the distant type. Someone he cannot hold close to his heart. You may not be labeled as clingy but you can't hold on to him either.
So how do you talk to him about committing?
Do not forget that you cannot convince your man to love you. He has to give it to you. Forcing him to go into something deeper in the emotional level will most certainly make him pack up and ruin your chance with him.
Another thing you need to remember is that the good catch always knows what he wants. If he would list down what he wants, top of that list would be to spend time with a woman who would make life more fun, interesting and memorable. He would want to go out with someone who is independent, and a no-fuss type of person. It may sound so simple, but they want an uncomplicated life. If you are interesting and lovable enough, then he will definitely want to create something beautiful with you.
To simplify things, you need to listen to him. Do not force him to be someone he's not. Learn to acknowledge your differences and learn to look at things the way he looks at them. The moment you see life according to how he views it, then you will be able to understand him more. Know his language and you will know how to make him see how a good catch you really are. This may not work in all relationships because there will always be someone who is incompatible with you. Whatever happens, be as desirable as you can be, and when the right man comes along, he won't be so hard to handle anymore.
Aaron Adams specialises in relationship matters for women.
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Source:www.isnare.com |
