By Susan T Roberts
Psychologists break the human lifespan down into developmental stages. Most of us naturally move through each of these developmental stages in life without really ever thinking about it and without realizing that our experiences are usually very similar to that of those around us. One of the things seen commonly during the childhood phase of life is the development of imaginary friends. Many children go through a phase where they have an unseen friend that is very much alive in their imagination. Their ‘friend' usually has a name and in most families they become an accepted part of the family… at least for a time.
According to child development experts, there are many reasons that children have imaginary friends. Some think that they are born out of the sense of loneliness that some children feel. Children can feel lonely whether they are only-children, children of very busy parents or even just the quieter member of the family. In many ways, having an imaginary friend can be a coping mechanism for a child. For young children, it is one method of escaping their own complex, though young, lives and finding respite.
Some children develop an imaginary friend for reasons other than loneliness. Sometimes their pretend friend can merely be an escape from an overcrowded home situation or from failure to make friends at school. As a parent, try to be sensitive to your child and the things they are going through in their world.
Imaginary and pretend friends can come in many forms and for varying periods of time. In all honesty, parents should not worry too much if their young child begins to talk about a pretend friend. It is a normal stage for them to pass through. And they will pass through it. Some children will have a pretend friend that lasts for as little as a day or two, or a week. After that, the friend may never reappear again. On the other hand, a child can hold onto a pretend childhood friend for a few years and then at some point suddenly grow out of it, never to mention them again.
It is ok for parents to humor children that develop a pretend friend. Make it ok for them to include the imaginary friend on family outings and trips in the car. If the child is using the pretend friend as a coping mechanism then it is better to comfort the child by acknowledging their friend rather than scolding them and telling them to grow up. The most important thing for parents to know is that their child will grow out of this phase. There is no need to take them to the doctor, warn their school teachers or to do anything else like this. Your child will be ok.
If you have a sense that your child's imaginary friend stems from loneliness, you might want to look into some of your local community resources to find out what activities you might be able to enroll your child in. You can also arrange for play dates with other children in your extended family or with neighborhood children if that is possible.
Susan Roberts writes freelance for a number of different companies, along with publishing on HubPages. Some of her previous articles include "Find My Child", and The Importance of Giving your Child Increasing Amounts of Freedom.
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