By Amy Cainfield
Most parents today agree that drug use by our teenagers is one of our greatest fears.
Since the inception of DARE programs across the country, many schools are teaching the dangers of drugs and kids ARE paying attention. Part of the DARE curriculum is to work with the parents, too.
By doing so, parents are taught about warning signs to look for, such as changes in friends, changes in wardrobe, becoming more and more isolated and children who may have more volatile personalities; some parents may have the unfortunate task of finding remnants of drug use.
Other people, usually childless couples and sometimes parents of children of their own, take the opinion of "Well, not my kid....he knows better!"
Oh, if it were to be always true!!
Through these school programs, the media, support groups and friends, the majority of parents DO have the tools and the knowledge to protect their kids from a life of drugs and other poor choices.
The task at hand is getting the parents to address it with the kids. It can be uncomfortable and it seems more uncomfortable to ask if your child isn't doing drugs.
But doing it honestly and with a sincere heart and concern will convey to your child that you DO love them and you want to help. Not to punish them...that is not the end goal. You must ask from a place of love and support but just be direct and honest. Approaching the matter at hand in this way, if the child wants help but doesn't know how to ask for it, being direct may be the way the door opens within the family.
Be prepared for whatever answer you get, though. They may be extremely relieved that now the "cat is out of the bag" so to speak and this will be the prime opportunity to start the healing process and get the child to a treatment facility and prepare the whole family for therapy.
You may get a vehement, "NO, I'm NOT using drugs!! Don't you trust me???" And, you may just open up a whole new line of communication that will lead to further trust and accountability for the whole family!
There are children who choose to "experiment" with drugs once in a while. It may be more of a challenge to spot any of the signs and symptoms of very occasional and sporadic drug use. But, if you suspect it at all, just ask!
This is also an optimal time to start an ongoing dialogue with your teen about the dangers of even recreational use of drugs, the dangers of those drugs and the less than reasonable choices people in general tend to make while they are under the influence.
Again, having this ongoing dialogue and making yourself approachable will further their trust with you and, even when parents aren't around, your teen will remember all the trust and love there is being invested in them.
If these direct approach methods don't work and all the signs point to a resounding yes, perhaps the next step is to purchase a home drug screen kit and check in the privacy of your own home.
If it's negative, GREAT! Not only do you have good news and reassurance, for the time being, it is also a time to embrace your child and remind him or her, exactly how much you love them and how much you do trust them.
If the test comes back positive, then you have all sorts of options to explore but make no mistake, you may have just saved your own child's life.
Amy Cainfield is an published author and a long time Internet Safety advocate and proponent of Parental Control Software that designed to help parents keep their children safe when they go online. She recommends all parents try PC Tattletale parental control software.
Source:www.isnare.com |
