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| Using Time-out to Tame Your Toddler | October 13, 2009, 7:21 pm | visits: 43 | wordcount: 732
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By Lisa Baade
Parenting is difficult at the best of times but sometimes we need some strategies to help us cope with trying situations and to help us to mold acceptable behaviour for our children. There is no doubt that discipline, especially in reference to very young children is at best a contentious issue, however with the help of parenting programs on television and the wealth of information available online it is becoming widely accepted that sometimes we need more than just a plan to do well. One of the most talked about methods for disciplining our children is the use of Time-Out for behaviour management.
Time-out is becoming the most successful and effective discipline method used by parents, caregivers and childcare centres around the world. One of the reasons this Time-out method works so well is that it removes the child from the situation immediately and allows both the parent and the child to calm down before the situation escalates out of control.
In order to use the Time-out method you need to have a plan up front. Decide what situations are going to warrant the method and how long they are going to be in time-out for. Pick your battles; initially try to focus on the behaviour that you feel it is most important for your toddler to change. It might be as severe as biting or hitting or it could be something like saying a naughty word. Make sure that you are consistent whatever it is. Then you need to decide where your Time-out area is going to be. Make sure that it is somewhere away from distractions where they are unable to do damage to themselves, others or any property. Try to avoid using the bed or cot as a Time-out area as this may lead them to have a negative association with their bed and lead to sleep problems later on.
To implement the Time-out strategy, wait until the particular behaviour presents itself. Take the child to the Time-out area or their Time-out Mat. Get down on your child's level and explain to them why they have been placed in that area and how long they need to stay there for. Also explain to them what they need to do when that time is up, which may be apologise, clean up their room or undo the mess that they just created. When the time is up return to them, accept their apology, share a cuddle and get on with what it is you need to be doing. The more frequently and consistently the method is used the less it will be required. Be sure to praise good behaviour if they prevent themselves for going to the Time-out spot by self regulating their behaviour, this will go a long way to improving their behaviour in the longer term.
A good rule of thumb is one minute for each year of their age. Explain this to the child and how it is going to work. Some parent's like to use aids to reinforce the consistency of the Time-out method such as a timer that the child holds so they know how long they need to stay in the Time-out for. This is also a good idea as it gives them something to do with their hands as they think about what they have done and the consequences of their actions.
Another very useful aid to use in Time-out is a Time-out Mat. Children naturally will develop a very strong association between the Time-out Mat and the fact that they are being disciplined for their behaviour. To have the ability to take this discipline measure with you when you are on the go is a huge advantage as it adds to the consistency of the method and provides you with a handy and quick solution to avert and disperse a situation while you are out in public. As parents we also spend much more time away from the home these days as we try to juggle the demands of family life, social life, work and extracurricular activities so a portable solution is very convenient.
It is never too early to begin using Time-out with your baby or toddler. Remember that you are not being mean or nasty; you are helping them develop into resilient and happy children who know how to behave responsibly and are able to self regulate and show self discipline.
Lisa Baade is the author of Toddler Interpreter, A Parent's Guide to Baby Sign Language for Hearing Babies and Toddlers. The program is structured so that the most relevant and easiest baby signs are introduced first. For more information visit Baby Sign Language
Source:www.isnare.com | |
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