By Michael Dyer
Dating is not magic. Even Christian men can get better at attracting women. How do I know? Because I've already made the journey.
You see, in the beginning, I wasn't just told no. Most frequently I just got a phone number for a girl that never picked up. Or, I went on what I thought was a date, only to find out later that she had a boyfriend and thought I was just being friendly. This happened several dozen times in a row (so many in fact that I lost track, "several dozen" is not exaggeration). It got to the point where if a girl gave me a straight no I would verbally thank her for being straight with me.
However, by changing what I how I was thinking and how I was acting, I started to get results. I flirted with girls and they flirted back. Then, I started going on dates where we BOTH thought it was a date. Better still, I even, shock, got girlfriends.
I learned that it didn't have to be the way I thought it was, basically waiting for something to fall out of the sky and go my way. I learned that getting a girlfriend wasn't magic, or luck, but knowledge and skill set, just like everything else.
I also learned about multitudes of men that had gotten knowledge and skills and gotten way better with women. I also learned that you didn't have to sacrifice your faith or character to do it. I also learned that having a stronger relationship with God made it all easier.
You, as a man, are not supposed to be passive. God is not passive and you are made in His image. Why do we, as Christian men, think that everything else in life requires effort, but, somehow, since "God has somebody out there for you", that this one issue will just "fall together" when "the time is right". Who told us this? Does God say this?
For most of us step one can be easy. Think about what it means to be passive, is it manly? Does it honor God? Does it even feel good? Isn't passivity just indifference? Isn't courage a virtue? Don't you always feel awesome after being courageous? So, why not try being active, actually pursuing what you know you want and know is right? Isn't courage a virtue?
Way more is under your control than you think. God doesn't ask of us anything impossible. Nothing goes anywhere until you take that first step. Be active, even if it's just a little bit more. Be more aggressive, even if it's just a little bit more. You don't have to shoot for the moon right away. Then ask if this doesn't somehow improve things, however little. Get into the habit of just taking smaller steps towards pursuing the opposite sex, and towards pursuing the things that you fundamentally want. Whether that's learning more, or just screwing up the courage to ask one girl out a week, move forward. It costs you very little to try, just start moving and see if the first step doesn't help you take the next one.
Michael Dyer teaches Christian men about dating and relationships. He writes regularly on Christian dating advice
Source:www.isnare.com |
