By Aaron Adams
How do I get him back? If at the back of your mind you keep asking yourself this question, then you must be totally smitten with the man you're dating. You think he's a perfect gentleman and seem to genuinely care about you. He's just like what you dream of in a man and you're falling for him…
Then it happened. He started dating another woman and contacting you less. Soon you got to know the real him – of how he gets into one relationship after another. Intuitively you realize that if it's happened before, it could happen again. Although you still get to spend time with him, you begin to harbor feelings of insecurity and fear. You started having doubts whether your shared friendship would blossom just like how you imagined it to happen. You begin to wonder how to make him hang onto your growing relationship (or so it seems) a little longer. You wouldn't want to lose him to another woman – not this time. You still believe that it's only a matter of time before your dreams come into fruition if you tried hard enough.
Unfortunately, that's not how it will turn out. You must have lost your sense of reality if you believe that you could make him fall for you deeply. No, you couldn't win him back – not when he's still dating another woman. If he commits only a part of himself to both of you, chances are he's making himself completely available to neither one of you. It's crystal clear that even if your friendship started well, it is very unlikely to go any deeper at this point in time.
What you're after is a mature and responsible relationship while he, on the other hand, enjoys the emotional roller coaster by dating one woman after another. In such a case, perhaps it's best to relax yourself and let him go. Give him the time and emotional space that he obviously needs. Bear in mind that it's not because you are not deserving of his attention. Rather, it is he himself that isn't ready to involve himself emotionally with anyone at this time. A relationship that's founded on commitment is the last thing on his mind.
In the meantime, what you can do is take that chance to discover new dimensions to yourself. Simply keep your mind off him and get busy with your own affairs. It's your chance to discover your own essence of happiness that you couldn't have done when you were too busy making him feel the same way for you. When you do that, one of two things could happen. Either he'll notice the new you and appreciate you all the more, or he'll completely drift out of your life.
When that happens, it won't matter much anymore and the emotional pain would be lighter. By then, you've already learned life's lesson to live each moment for everything it's worth – without him. All the more you'll be ready when someone more deserving of your affection comes along.
Aaron Adams specialises in relationship matters for women. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com to find out what to do after a breakup.
Source:www.isnare.com |
