By Paul Barron
Much of our life revolves around encounters with other people. Whether you are a businessperson, doctor, mechanic, teacher, or computer programmer, you inevitably will have to deal with other people. Likewise, your skill at communicating with others determines to a large extent your future earning potential, your quality of relationships, and your peace of mind.
So how do you make people like you instantly? The first thing to do is to have an open posture. Humans evolved to recognize that when someone has a closed posture they may have something to hide or they feel they need to defend themselves from you. However, when someone has an open posture they instantly tell the other person that they are friendly and intend no harm. One way to have an open posture make sure that your arms are not blocking your chest or touching your face. Observe how popular politicians speak. Their arms are normally to the side and their chests are slightly pushed out to show the public how receptive they are. The opposite of a closed posture would be crossing ones arms, legs, or not giving direct eye contact.
You should always be the first person to make eye contact. This way you are the first person to initiate a personal connection. However, if the other person looks at you and your eyes are not on them, they will not that you are receptive to them. So, make eye contact first and maintain it for no longer than three seconds. Next, keep your eyesight in their general facial area moving from their chin to their nose and back to their eyes again. This form of eye movement lets them know that you are warmly interested in them. This would be the opposite of giving them a cold stare.
The next step is to build rapport with the other person. You can do this by mirroring their movements in an inconspicuous manner. For example, if they move their arm a certain way you can move your arm a similar way. The trick is to do this without appearing as if you are mocking the person. The fact is that people like people who are like themselves. The more you have in common, including your rate of speech, dress, movements, and personal views, the more the two of you will enjoy each others company.
Another trick to persuading others is to move in a fashion that they are used to. For example, English speakers read from left to right. Their brain is set up to take in information in a left to right mode. You can tap into this by facing the person and choreographing your movements from your right to left which they would see as from left to right. This way you will seem more clear to them and they will feel more comfortable about your message.
In the end the person will see how you truly feel about them. It is almost impossible to hide our true feelings toward others. Our bodies give off thousands of minute signals non-verbally telling the other person what we think of them. So, if you are trying to get on someone's good side even though you do not really like them then you will have to work much harder. Fortunately there is one trick to overcome this. What you do is imagine the person you are talking to as someone whom you really admire or find attractive in some way. This way you push your body to send off the signals you would send if you were talking to the person you admire. This in turn will make the person whom you do not really like feel as if you do like them which will give you a better chance to persuade them.
Paul Barron works in the publishing field. You can visit his blog at http://pbarron.com/
Source:www.isnare.com |
