By Katie Krienitz
When my ex and I parted ways years ago, something in me knew I was going to be single for quite a while. Though I actively tried dating (acquiring many priceless dating stories), nothing stuck and I knew the reason why:
I needed my time alone.
Many of us are looking for the romantic relationship that will last the rest of our lives. Or at least provide us with a great partner with whom we can move through life for a while. And for many of us women (I'm guilty too), if we're not currently in a relationship, we are actively looking for one.
Let me preface my main point with this: there is nothing wrong with having a deep desire for true love and actively seeking it out. However, that feeling must learn to co-exist with the undeniable fact that alone time – deliberate alone time – is absolutely vital.
For me, this alone time was needed for a few reasons:
1) I needed to heal completely
2) I needed to cherish and appreciate my single status
3) I needed to reconnect with what I truly wanted in a relationship
4) I needed to gain strength and prove to myself I could do anything
Often, our time as singles is the time when we grow the most. It's often difficult dealing with the quiet time (especially right after a breakup), but what happens when we give ourselves to the silence is incredibly profound. Among the silence, we start to hear what our core self desires. And if we're smart, we listen and act. Pretty soon, we find ourselves joining the masters swim team we never had time for. We join the meetup tennis group we always thought would be a waste of time. We take an art course at the local college and fall in love with it. We take a road trip all by ourselves and swing on hammocks with no one else's schedule to worry about. We watch as a regular girl's night gets established and laughter surrounds us more and more. We treat ourselves to a quiet sunset as we observe the water or mountains or trees all around us.
For an entire year, I enjoyed myself as a single. I explored Montreal, Canada on my own. I had a retreat weekend for myself in the Florida Keys. I wrote a book. I started a company. I ran a 15k, I spent amazing amounts of time with my girlfriends. I participated in athletic bootcamps. I finished rehabbing a house and became a real estate investor. I traveled across the country for empowering seminars. And I laughed a lot.
No matter where you are in your relationship life – whether you're in a great relationship, living the life of a super single, or half way in a relationship you know you shouldn't be in, don't ever forget to take time fo yourself!
Your alone time is vital to restoring your energy, connecting with the core of you, and granting you clarity on your life and your dreams. And you never know in what exciting direction your precious time alone may lead you next!
Katie Krienitz is a relationship author who advises women on how to survive breakups and attract the relationships they desire by paying attention to the signs. Visit her at http://www.RelationshipRoadsigns.com.
Source:www.isnare.com |
